


A Sigh is Just a Sigh

by vjs2259



Series: Kissables [2]
Category: Babylon 5
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-29
Updated: 2007-05-29
Packaged: 2017-10-17 14:50:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/178006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vjs2259/pseuds/vjs2259
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written in 2007, an attempt to shoehorn the first kiss between John and Delenn earlier in the series. This section covers most of the opportunities I could think of in Season Three, listed by episode. So AU but in the general spirit of things. Not complete stories, but some are a bit long. One is more properly Marcus/Susan, but has the requisite J/D kiss as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Sigh is Just a Sigh

  
**Matter of Honor**   


After the White Star returned from Zagros 7, they all went their separate ways. Delenn and Lennier went to confer with Marcus. The Rangers who had escaped the blockade had gone to predetermined rendezvous points, and had begun reporting in. They had to decide where to station the Rangers who had escaped, and also which ones to send back to Minbar for debriefing.

Sheridan and Ivanova, after seeing off Mr. Endawi, went back to C&C, but Ivanova quickly shooed the Captain off the bridge. He wasn’t on duty, and was driving her crazy going over tactics and waxing lyrical in praise of his new ‘toy’. She sent him down to the docking bay to see if he could shuttle over to the White Star and explore it further, and also to get him out of her hair.

Delenn had decided to go over to the ship as well. She wanted to praise the crew for following what must have seemed like suicidal orders from Captain Sheridan. They would need reassurance from her that this was a good course to follow. Loyal as they were, they must still be questioning this course of action, even though all had ended well.

As she rounded the corner, leading to the docking bay where the shuttle was waiting, she saw Captain Sheridan conferring with the pilot she had left on duty. The Minbari bowed and left, and she approached in some confusion. “Excuse me, Captain, but what is going on? I wished to go over to the White Star to confer with the crew. Is something wrong with the pilot?”

Sheridan turned with a start, and said, “No, nothing’s wrong. I just released him to go get some dinner. I was going to take the shuttle over myself, but he had been on duty here for hours, and looked like he needed a break. I’m sure I can manage though.”

Delenn looked pained, “I should have thought of that myself. Thank you for taking care of his needs.” She paused then, uncertain of how to continue, “I think I should take you over. I am perhaps more familiar with this type of craft than you are.”

“You are? I mean, I’m sure you are. Perhaps you could give me a lesson or two?”

His smile was somewhat suggestive, she thought, but she couldn’t be certain. “Of course. I would be pleased to be of service. Let’s go aboard.”

After they had both strapped into their seats, Delenn quickly went over the pre-flight preparations, then contacted C&C for permission to leave. She ran her hands over the glowing crystals that formed the command panel, and deftly maneuvered the shuttle out of the docking bay and set it on a course for the jumpgate. The larger ship was positioned on the opposite side of jumpgate in hyperspace, just out of visible range of any ship entering or departing thru the gate. They didn’t want any speculation as to the origin of this novel ship.

After the jump, she set the autopilot to take them to where the White Star was hidden just off the beacon. She relaxed in the straps, and stretched a bit to relieve her tense muscles. It had been a long while since she had piloted a shuttle of this type. She started to tug at the buckle. “I think this is stuck.”

“Shouldn’t you stay strapped in?” he asked.

“This shuttle has artificial gravity. It is safe to move about.” She tugged at the offending catch again.

“Let me try,” he said, undoing his own restraint, then moving closer to work on hers.

“How long have you been flying?” Sheridan asked, as he maneuvered the catch back and forth, trying to get it loose.

“Oh, I learned long ago. I take my personal flyer back and forth to Minbar occasionally. This shuttle’s controls are slightly different, but similar enough. You are in no danger,” she said a little provocatively.

“I wasn’t worried,” he hastened to assure her. Then he smiled and said, “You were though, weren’t you? On the White Star, I mean?”

“It was…unexpected, what you did. I trust you, John,” she said suddenly serious, “with my life.”

The catch gave way, and caught off balance, John stumbled backwards, landing hard on the floor of the shuttle. She was by his side in an instant, leaning over him, checking his body for injury. As her hands moved over him, she felt an unfamilar sensation washing over her. “Are you all right?” she managed to get out. She felt like she couldn’t breathe.

He gasped, “I’m fine.” He sat upright with her help, then the ship took a right turn, and it was her turn to tumble onto him. Lying there, face to face, they paused for a moment, seeing desire mirrored in each other’s eyes.

“Delenn,” said John, sitting up, but holding her close as he did so. He traced her lips with his fingers, and she gently kissed each one. “Are you ready for this?”

“No,” she said, putting her arms around his neck, “But you may proceed anyway.”

He smiled as he remembered the last time he’d heard those words, and leaning down, he kissed her gently, then fervently, drinking in her scent and taste, revelling in the feel of her pliant body in his arms.

She had trusted him with her life, and now she was trusting him with her heart.

 

  
**Messages from Earth #1**   


She waited for a while until his breath became even and slow, then swinging her legs gracefully over the side of the bed, she quietly approached him. The sound of falling rain still filled the room, and its gentle rhythm obscured the quickening of her own breathing. She was still not sure she should be doing this, but her heart was outracing her head in her attraction to this man. Her human feelings were overwhelming, and hard to control. She needed at least some confirmation from Minbari ritual before she was swept away, and committed herself unwisely. Looking into his face, she was stunned by the transparent honesty she saw in his soul. There was capacity for guile, certainly, but it was underlaid by a basic deep integrity. He was so young. Her heart bled when she thought of the trials that lay before them both. As she leaned over him, her hair brushed his face, and his eyelids fluttered. She laid a hand on his forehead, trying to soothe him back to sleep, but his lips moved as if he was trying to say something, while still asleep. He was so beautiful. She couldn’t resist any longer, and delicately pressed her lips to his. They were soft and alive, warm and pliable. His lips parted in reaction to her touch, and her warm breath joined with his. They were breathing each other’s breath, taking life one from the other. She was drowning in him.

He awoke to a kiss. 'Anna,' was his first thought, followed by the familiar stab of pain. Not Anna…the scent, the taste were unfamilar but wonderful. He reached out and felt velvet softness. He had felt this fabric before, in his arms, and recently. As he woke further and responded naturally, inevitably to the wonder of this kiss, his mind identified her. Delenn, it was Delenn in his arms. He had dreamt this a hundred times. He still wasn't sure it was not a dream, but as she shifted and her warm body pressed against his, his response was the same as in his dreams, instant, hard and physical. He crushed her to him, deepening the kiss, probing her mouth with his eager tongue until she moaned in response. Oh, he was awake all right, and somehow his dreams had become reality. He could still hear the rain she had called for him, and at that memory, his heart connected with his body and his mind to complete his awakening to a new love.

 

 

  
**Messages from Earth #2**   


When he looked up from the control panel where Lennier was showing him how to set the auto-pilot, he realized Delenn had left the bridge. Leaving the Minbari in command, he set off to find her. He wanted to thank her for her actions in the recent battle, well, to be honest, for giving him a way out of an unresolvable quandry. He couldn't fire on his old ship, or his old comrades. He had come perilously close to getting them blown out of the sky with his inability to think of another option. Luckily for him, she had been there, and come up with her brilliant, crazy idea. After her reaction to his idea at Zagros 7, he'd begun to think her natural focus was strategy, especially diplomatic, not tactics. Apparently she was a quick study.

He found her in the small meditation chamber, just off the hallway leading to the crew quarters. She was seated in front of a low table, staring intently at a broad white pillar candle, topped by a bright yellow flame. As he approached he heard her soft voice, reciting words that sounded like a prayer. He sat down next to her, crossing his long legs with difficulty, and awaited her attention.

When she paused in her recitation, he ventured a question. “What are you doing?”

“Praying,” she replied briefly. She looked over at him and he saw tears glistening in her eyes.

“For someone in particular?” he asked, suppressing the desire to wipe away her tears.

“All those who died on your colony today. The unfortunate soul that merged with the Shadow ship we destroyed. Anyone injured in our escape.”

He looked at her in dismay. “We’re going into a war, Delenn. You can’t mourn everyone who’s hurt or killed.”

She looked at him and said simply, “Why not? Someone should, shouldn’t they?”

Not knowing how to reply to that, he went ahead with what he’d come to say. “I wanted to thank you…for coming up with the idea that got us out of there. For helping me when I couldn’t act. I just froze up. I’ve never had to fight my own people before, not in a shooting war. I know I may have to, the way things are going back home. I guess I just wasn’t ready yet.”

She looked at him with sympathy, “It is difficult to stand alone against your own government.” She looked down at her hands, folded in her lap, and continued, “Some of your people may turn against you as well. It is never easy.”

He took one of her hands in his own. “I would like to think that I would not be standing alone.”

She looked up shyly, “I will stand with you when and where you wish, John.”

“And I with you, Delenn. You can count on it.” He went on, his voice growing even lower, “I would like to seal this agreement.”

She looked confused, “You mean, make it a formal agreement, between the two of us? A treaty to be signed?” Then she brightened, “Perhaps we should ‘shake on it’? Is that the correct phrase?”

“I was thinking of sealing it with a kiss, actually….” With that he leaned over and gently brushed her lips with his own.

“This is the way human allies agree?” Her eyes were sparkling now. “You must have interesting treaty negotiations.”

“Very interesting. We call these ‘closed door sessions’. They are only for very special agreements.” He put his arms around her to draw her close, “with very special people.”

Their silhouettes merged as their lips met once more. They were outlined in candlelight, but the glow from within them burned brighter than any flame.

 

  
**Severed Dreams**   


“John, this is the fifth time you’ve showed me the tape. It’s very interesting, but I’ve got work to do here.” Ivanova’s voice was exasperated. Her head still ached from the bump she’d received, and she had damage reports to collate and StarFury status reports to go through…and why wasn’t the Captain doing any of this, she wondered. He had said he wanted to show her the tapes of the battle, which she had seen a little too up close and personal to get the big picture. She noticed that he lingered each time over the portion of the tape with Delenn’s arrival. It was a good speech, and the Ambasador had saved their asses big time, but this was getting ridiculous. It occurred to her that maybe seeing Delenn in person would be a good substitute for his watching her on screen over and over again. And it would give her some breathing room to get the station back in order. She walked over to her station, and hit the ‘panic’ button—the one she’d installed that would imitate an incoming message. After the chime, she watched intently, talking back to the blank screen, then returned to Captain Sheridan. “Captain, Ambassador Delenn has requested to speak to you. Could you meet her in your quarters?”

“Of course. Did she say what it was about?”

“No, no she didn’t. Only that she needed to see you. In about 45 minutes, she said.” Ivanova prayed she could locate the ambassador and get her over to Sheridan’s quarters in time.

“All right. Will you be okay here? How are you feeling?”

 _Now he’s concerned._ “I’m fine. You go, I’ll get on with the work here.”

Sheridan grunted assent, and left C&C, in rather a hurry, she thought to herself smugly. Now to set the other end of the trap…and buy herself some time to get some work done.

 

Sheridan went straight to his quarters to wait. He paced a bit, checked his messages, made tea, drank some, paced some more. What could she want? Maybe he’d gone over the top with the kissing-the-hand thing. He couldn’t help it; she looked so regal sometimes, like a queen in an old story. And a handshake just didn’t cut it after what she’d done. He found himself wondering again how she had gotten those ships here, and what she’d meant when she said the station was now their only home. He'd cut himself off from his homeworld; and apparently so had she. It had to have something to do with the ships, and the protection of the station. She thought the station was going to be important in the coming war with the Shadows. That was all it was, nothing to do with him personally. Then he remembered the heat in the look she’d given him as he held her hand to his lips, and the way she’d tightened her fingers around his briefly, breaking her grasp only when the others approached. Hell, unless he was stone crazy, there was something there, something between them. It’s been a long time, but surely he couldn’t be that far off base. Still, she came from a whole other culture. He could be very, very wrong in his interpretation. He sighed. He was tired. He’d been up most of the last three nights. He decided to lay down on the couch, just for a few minutes before she arrived. Closing his eyes for a moment or two couldn’t hurt.

Delenn approached Sheridan’s quarters with some apprehension. Ivanova wouldn’t say what the Captain wanted, but she had given her his pass code. That was very strange, it seemed to her. Captain Sheridan was usually quite formal is his official dealings with her, as befitted her status as ambassador. She had never had an official meeting with him in his quarters, and having Ivanova ask her to meet him there seemed more official than personal. She wondered if she had acted improperly when he had kissed her hand in the Zocalo that afternoon. She had found the gesture both touching, and if she was honest, stimulating. He was the most amazing man. She never knew what he was going to do next. Perhaps she had acted too boldly, taking his arm when the crowd began to applaud. It had felt so right and so sweet to stand in front of everyone, holding the arm of the man she…her mind skittered away from naming the feeling. She had reached his quarters, and punching in the code, she watched the door open, and stepped inside.

He was lying on his back, half on and half off the couch in his living area, asleep, and snoring gently. Taken aback, she didn’t know what to do. She could return to her quarters and call him, waking him from a distance, and sparing him embarassment. Or she could make some noise—go out and come in again loudly enough to wake him. Smiling at herself, she thought a trained diplomat should be able to see several ways out of this situation that would leave feelings unhurt and dignity intact. Right now she couldn’t think of even one. She moved closer to the couch, remembering the last time she’d watched him sleep. It was on the White Star, on their way to Ganymede. She’d seen his soul for the first time that night, and had longed for another glimpse ever since. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to look, just for a moment.

His soul was plainly visible. It was open and honest, but with depths of integrity and a capacity for devotion that was almost frightening. Facing his honesty with her own, she admitted to herself she loved him. With all her studies, even with her change, she still knew too little of humanity to know where this might lead. She suspected it wouldn’t be a good place. Too much pain and too many prejudices lay between their races to make this easy for either of them. She wished she knew more about the humans-- even after all this time, she felt the gaps in her knowledge. She remembered something Draal had told her when she began to study humanity at Dukhat’s suggestion. “Look at what they teach their young,” he had said. “What books they give them, what stories they tell. That will show what they truly are. A good thing to know.” She had followed his advice and read folktales and children’s storybooks. Some of the more ancient texts had mentioned a sleeping ruler, awakened by a kiss. As she looked down at Sheridan, she remembered those and similar stories were where she had heard of the kissing-the-hand gesture. Perhaps this showed a suitable way to awaken him. She leaned over impulsively, and kissed him softly on the lips.

His eyes opened to behold a wonder, a princess straight out of a fairy tale, a knight’s lady, his own true love. Still half asleep, feeling as if he were in a dream, he sat up, gathered her to his chest and held her tightly. “My love,” he said, kissing her hair, her crown, then finding her lips again.

Dizzy with joy, her only thought was to leave ‘ever after’ to the future. She could live happily with what she had right now.

 

  
**Ceremonies of Light and Dark**   


Stephen Franklin was uneasy. It was certainly time to release the Minbari ambassador from MedLab; she was physically ready to leave. Still he wished someone had come to escort her to her quarters. Oh, he knew Mr. Garibaldi had left two security guards to walk her back, and stay outside her door. She would be protected. He still wasn’t happy about her being alone, not with the mood she was in.

“May I go now, Doctor?” Delenn asked impatiently. “You said I could leave today.”

“Isn’t anyone coming to go back with you, Ambassador? Where’s Lennier?”

“There was some sort of emergency with an incoming Minbari ship. He had to attend to it,” she answered testily. “And I am perfectly capable of getting back to my quarters by myself.”

Stephen hesitated, “What if I called Captain Sheridan?”

“No!” She said without hesitation. “Now are you going to let me go, or shall I just leave? I do not believe you had the authority to stop me in any case.”

“Well, I could probably do it…if you weren’t really ready to go. But you are, so I won’t. Be sure and come back in a few days to let me look at those stitches. They’ll resorb on their own, but I need to check them.”

This time she smiled, although wearily. “I will remember. May I go now?”

“All right,” he said reluctantly. “Let me notify the guards. They’ll escort you back…” Seeing her expression, he hastily added, “At a distance! Don’t worry, you’ll have your privacy.”

“Thank you for your care, Stephen. I will see you in a few days.” With that, she swung her legs off the table and onto the floor, standing in one graceful motion. With only a slight grimace of pain, she headed for the door, shadowed by two guards responding to a gesture from the doctor. They fell in behind her, careful to let her proceed them, but also taking care not to let her out of their sight. They had their orders, first from Mr. Garibaldi, then from Commander Ivanova, and lastly from Captain Sheridan. Nothing was going to happen to the Ambassador on their watch.

Delenn walked as quickly as she could towards her quarters. She resented the guards shadowing her, but realized she still felt a tinge of fear anytime an unknown human came near her in the hallway. She quite desperately wanted to be alone, in her quarters, surrounded by her own things, somewhere quiet. The constant hum of noise in MedLab had grated on her over-sensitive nerves, and she had been unable to relax, much less meditate, and she felt the stress of this lack keenly. She had to get away and think about what had happened during the kidnapping attempt and its aftermath. As she turned the corner into the hallway that led to her door, her steps faltered for a moment as she felt a tearing pain in her back. She clutched at the wall to keep from falling, and one of the guards was beside her in an instant, supporting her with an arm around her waist. Flinching away from him, she said, “Do not touch me!”

He let go, surprised at her protest, muttered an apology, and rejoined his fellow guard a few steps away. Holding onto the wall to keep upright, she felt her way to her door, thumbed the keypad, and stepped inside. Turning she gave a curt bow to the guards without meeting their eyes, and the door closed in front of them. They looked at each other, shrugged and took up their positions on either side of the door. Their orders were clear. Regardless of her feelings, they were there to protect her.

Once inside, she stumbled towards the couch, falling forwards onto its soft surface to spare her throbbing back. The pain was intense, and she sobbed into a pillow, trying to muffle the noise, although there was no one there to hear. She had told Lennier to deal with the emergency, and then to retire to his own quarters. He had protested, but she had been insistent. So she had bought herself one night alone, without interruption, to try and process what had happened to her, to try and understand what she was feeling. Tomorrow she would have to be the cool, calm Minbari ambassador again. Stoic, wise, and all-knowing, she thought bitterly. Not wise enough to foresee the human reaction to her trying to save the station. Naturally enough they thought the Minbari were taking over. The war had not been that long ago; the people who had taken her and Lennan and his poor aide were all veterans of that conflict. They were what her people, what she, had made them.

She should have known. After that interview with ISN last year…it was clear that neither human nor Minbari either understood or appreciated what she had done, going through the transformation. It had left her something apart and different, something to be feared and shunned. She was the nexus of their mutual distrust.

Curling her aching body around a pillow on the couch, she continued to follow the dark path laid down by her thoughts. One bright spot remained. John saw beyond the surface, trusted her to at least try to do the right thing. The tears began to flow again. And her thanks to him was to draw him into the battle with the Shadows…to put him in danger again and again. She must mislead him, give him just enough information to pull him along with her on this disastrous journey. A journey where it seemed those who stood close to her were killed; Dukhat, Lennon, now Merann….

The door chimed. The guards must be checking on her. Wearily, she raised her head up and said, “Yes?”

“It’s John. May I come in?”

“No!” was her instant response. Then, “Why? Has something else happened?”

“I just wanted to check on you.”

She could hear the worry in his voice, and as much as her spirit cried out for solitude, she responded instinctively to the need to allay his fears. She sat up straight, wincing again at the pain in her back and replied, in as steady a voice as she could muster, “Open.”

 

He entered the room cautiously, uncertain of his reception. Stephen had called him from MedLab against her wishes, and then the guards at the door had reported the incident in the hall to him. He knew she wanted privacy, but he couldn't stand the idea of her alone and in pain, whether physical or mental. They hadn't spoken since the abbreviated rebirth ceremony in MedLab, and he was a little nervous. She had seemed to respond favorably to his 'secret', but she wasn't allowed to speak during the ceremony, and he couldn't be sure.

One look at her pale, drawn face convinced him he had been right to come. He sat next to her, and asked, "Can I get you anything?"

"No," she responded quietly, "I am fine, as you see."

"I don’t see," he replied forcefully. "You look terrible. Did Stephen give you anything for pain?"

"I think so. There was a packet…it's on the table. But I don't need anything. I just need some time alone."

"Tell me what's bothering you. I want to help."

She shook her head. "I do not have the words."

"All right, then. Let me try. Why are you alive and Merann dead?"

She looked at him in surprise, "Why did you say that? How did you know…"

"Guilt is a perfectly normal reaction in a situation like that. Why him and not me? What had he done to deserve death? If it makes you feel any better, I think I was the actual target--getting me out of the way so the station would be returned to Clark's control. Not that they minded using you, and probably killing you, to get what they wanted."

"I think their target was obvious at the end," she said with a touch of irony. "I got 'in the way', as you say."

"And if you hadn’t, I might not be here right now. And if I thought you’d promise me, I’d ask you to never do that again." He touched her face gently with one finger. "You can't second guess situations like this. Merann's death is the result of a gang of madmen killing him, as well as his bad luck being picked to accompany Lennan on his tour. That's all."

"There will be many more deaths, and I am so tired of death," she said, looking up at him with anguish in her eyes.

"There will be death, but right now, we are both alive, and I am very glad of that," his voice was husky with emotion now. He put both arms around her, carefully avoiding the wound in her back. "May I show you how glad I am?"

She nodded with a slight smile, and closed her eyes as his lips touched hers. Her arms reached around him to caress his broad shoulders as she pulled him closer. He was right. It was very, very good to be alive.

 

  
**Ship of Tears**   


John pushed the com button on the door to Delenn’s quarters. He wanted to check on her…he hadn’t liked leaving her to talk to G’Kar alone earlier that day. Her involvement with the events that led to the bombing of Narn was horribly necessary, but there had been no guarantee that G’Kar would see it that way. It would be hard for anyone to hear her out, much less understand what she and Kosh had done, and why. G’Kar seemed to have accepted her explanation, but the confrontation couldn’t have been easy for either of them.

The door opened and he entered. She was sitting at the table where they’d discussed things that morning; erect, immobile, frozen in place. He approached hesitantly, and said quietly, “Delenn?”

She turned her face towards his, and although she remained silent, he could see the evidence of her grief. Her eyes were clear and focused, but tears stained her cheeks. Without stopping to think about it, he enfolded her in his arms protectively and asked, “Is it still bothering you? G’Kar, I mean? He seemed okay at the meeting this afternoon.”

She shook her head, “His reaction was no more than I expected. And less than I deserved. He has behaved better than I have.”

He protested, “You did what you had to do, you and Kosh. It was a hard decision, but it was the right one.”

She bowed her head, resting it lightly against his chest. He lifted her chin slightly, so he was looking into her eyes, and said, “It’s not your fault. The Centauri destroyed Narn. They’ve wanted to for years. They just took the first opportunity they got to do it.”

Tears began to well up again in her eyes, and she said, “I do not know if I can keep making these decisions. So many deaths on my conscience, so much blood on my hands…”

He couldn’t resist any longer. He leant down and kissed away her tears, then tilted her head back so he could reach her lips. “You’ve had a hard day,” he whispered, “let me try and make it better.” He touched his lips to hers, gently at first, testing her reaction. Then as she responded with a fervent embrace, he crushed her to him, losing himself in the feelings she aroused. He probed her lips with his tongue, seeking an opening, and when she gasped at the touch, he found it. Their tongues met in a clash of taste and touch and pressure; his head was reeling with the sensation, unlike any he had ever felt before.

Breaking apart, both slightly breathless, they stared at one another. He reached over and gently moved a strand of hair that had fallen over her eyes. “Feel better?” he asked tenderly.

Then his com link sounded. It was Garibaldi, “Code 7R. Fifteen minutes.”

“I’m kind of in the middle of something…” John replied, wishing he had thought to turn the damn link off.

“Make time.” Garibaldi said abruptly, and signed off.

John sighed, and said, “Duty calls.”

“It calls us both. And I do,” replied Delenn, still reveling in the feel of his arms around her.

“Do what?” asked John in confusion.

“Feel better,” she replied, as she stood, taking his hand and leading him to the door. “Come, Mr. Garibaldi is waiting.”

 

  
**Interludes and Examinations**   


They were all present in C&C when the Vorlon ship was released from Docking Bay 13 for its final trip, with all that remained of Ambassador Kosh on board. Delenn gently touched the control which opened the bay doors, and they watched in solemn reverence as the ship unfolded its solar sails and accelerated towards the sun.

When it disappeared into the blaze of light, more than one eye was wet with tears. No one could say they had known Kosh well, but they all acknowledged their debt to him, and his sacrifice in their mutual cause.

Delenn turned to speak to Captain Sheridan, but he was no longer standing beside her. Commander Ivanova leaned over and said quietly, “He’s in his office. This has hit him hard.” Delenn nodded and headed that direction herself. Ivanova reached out to dissuade her, but stopped as she considered maybe the Captain could use the company. If he didn’t want it, he could always say so. Besides, she had work to do.

Delenn hesitated at the door. She wasn’t sure what she could say to make John feel better, or whether he would even want her to try. Knowing he was in pain drew her inexorably forward, and she touched the comm button to announce her presence.

“Come,” came a voice from within.

She walked in slowly, uncertain of her reception. He was sitting on the couch, barely visible in the partial darkness. The only light in the room came from a small lamp on his desk. He was slumped forward, elbows on his knees, his hands clasped in front of him. For a moment, she thought he might be praying. She moved towards him, the rustling of her silk gown the only noise audible once the door had closed. Sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch, not touching him, but close enough to feel his body warmth, she asked, "Is there anything I can do?"

He shook his head, turning it slightly away from her, his eyes apparently focused on the floor. She felt helpless in the face of his grief. It was so hard to read human body language. As well as she felt she knew this man, she knew there was a gulf in her understanding of his emotional life. She reached over, and touched his jaw, gently turning his face towards hers. To her surprise, and intense pity, she saw evidence of a tear or two. Without stopping to consider how it would look, she took his hand in hers, trying to convey her sympathy with a touch. He clung to her hand for a moment, then sat up, leaning his head back against the couch.

“I’m sorry. This has been hard…I feel responsible,” he said, striving to keep the pain from his voice.

“Kosh knew what he was risking.” Her voice trembled slightly, “What we all risk. He understood what was at stake.”

John closed his eyes, and said, “He said he wouldn’t be there for me, at the end…”

Her throat tight with fear, she asked, “He wouldn’t be where?”

“Z’ha’dum,” came the whispered reply.

Blood running cold at the name, she reached towards him, placing her open palms against his chest, feeling his heartbeat strong beneath her fingers, “You mustn’t say that, John. That must not happen.”

He looked up and smiled wearily, “I hope not.” He put his arms around her gently, pulling her closer.

She let herself melt into him, succumbing to the temptation of his warm embrace. Looking up into his worn, tired face, she felt a jolt of emotion. She reached up to pull his head down to hers, and kissed him. He was surprised; she could feel it in his hesitant response. As she poured all her heartache at Kosh’s death, and her fear of what lay ahead for them into her embrace, she felt his arms tighten around her. She felt his hands tangle in her hair, and his kisses become deeper and more passionate. She responded in kind, fighting fear with love and hope. Still the shadows in the dark room gathered around them, patiently waiting the chance to turn faith into distrust, and love into anger.

 

  
**Grey 17 is Missing #1**   


Marcus Cole was having a good day. He had been on his way to meet Delenn, when he ran into Commander Ivanova. She had some reports to deliver to Captain Sheridan. The Captain was with Delenn in the docking area, welcoming the Rangers coming aboard for the Ambassador’s investiture as Entil’zha. So he, for once, had a perfectly valid reason to accompany the beautiful commander, and was enjoying himself immensely. He had to stop himself from breaking out in song, or at least humming a bit. Life was going rather well lately, even with the upcoming war and potential end of the universe. He kept a steady stream of light chat going, and was occasionally rewarded with a half-smile or even a chuckle from the lady.

When they reached their destination, they paused for a moment to observe their respective commanding officers, standing side by side, greeting the new arrivals.

Marcus gave a low whistle and said, “Would you look at that? I had no idea they gotten so far!”

Susan, puzzled, asked, “What do you mean? Have all the Rangers gotten here already?”

Marcus tilted his head towards Sheridan and Delenn, “I mean them. Just look at her!”

“I don’t see…” replied Susan, looking over at the two, who had resumed their seat, awaiting the next shuttle’s arrival.

“Look how close she’s sitting to him! And when they were welcoming that last group, she bowed to him after bowing to the Minbari Rangers.”

Susan was beginning to move from confused to annoyed, and Marcus went on, hurriedly, “A high status religious caste Minbari would never…I mean if she did, if would usually indicate, well, a certain degree of intimacy,” he finished lamely.

“Well, they are friends,” began Susan.

Marcus interrupted, “I mean _intimacy_ , Susan, in every sense of the word. She’s acting as if they’re a couple. With Minbari, that’s a pretty bold act.” He looked over again and said with calculation, “In fact, I think he’s gonna kiss her. And soon.”

Susan gaped at him, “In public? There’s no way the Captain would cause a scene like that! Or Delenn either! You’re crazy. And what do you mean, ‘He’s gonna kiss her’? I thought you said she was the one…showing…signs.” Her voice faltered as she groped for words.

Continuing to observe the pair, Marcus said thoughtfully to himself, “Ten minutes or less, I think.” Then to Susan he explained patiently, “Oh, come on. You’ve been in the Council Chamber with Delenn often enough. When she wants something, she gets it. Generally by getting someone else to give it to her. You must have noticed--the woman has a gift.”

“No way! I just don’t believe she can maneuver him into something like that. He has too much sense.”

Marcus looked at her in amused exasperation, “Sense has nothing to do with it. Look, I’ll make you a bet. He’ll kiss her, in public, in the next ten minutes. Twenty credits?”

“What are we supposed to do, hide back here and watch them? I feel like a voyeur already…”

“Coward.”

“I am not a coward.” She looked over at them again, noting with disquiet that they were sitting very close indeed. She shook herself, and thought, _I know him better than Marcus does. And Delenn does not have magic powers!_ “OK, I’ll take that bet. What kind of kiss are we talking? Not just a friendly peck on the check, right?”

“Nooo…” Marcus drew out the word, “Not a peck, or a paternal salute either. Something serious, involving both sets of lips.” He smiled as Susan blushed. He loved making her blush.

As the two looked on, they could see that Delenn was telling a story to Sheridan. The Captain didn’t take his eyes from her face, listening in apparent fascination and sympathy. When she finished, she rested her head on his shoulder. Susan let out a sigh of relief. The ten minutes was almost up, and it looked as if the tender moment was past. She looked down the ramp--surely there was another shuttle due soon!

Then, Marcus nudged her. She glanced back over, and saw Sheridan reach over, tilt Delenn’s head up, and… _Oh no_ , she groaned to herself, _I’ll never live this down_.

Marcus was laughing quietly, then held out his hand, palm up, and said, “Pay up, Susan!”

“You’ll have to wait till payday, Marcus. I’m broke.”

“Are you good for it? Maybe I should take it out in trade,” he suggested with a leer. Then, his voice flushed with triumph, he crowed, “Don’t bet against me, Susan. I never lose!”

Susan raised an eyebrow. Then a daring thought occurred to her, perhaps she could use this to her advantage. She said deliberately, “I never pegged you for a gambler, Marcus. I always put you down as the cautious type.”

“Me! I’m a man of action, in case you hadn’t noticed!”

“I know a bet you won’t take.”

He looked at her incredulously, “Aside from betting I’d take a walk outside the station without a suit, I can’t think of a thing.”

“I bet you wouldn’t kiss me.”

His eyes bulged a bit at that, and he replied, his voice rising, “Whadda you mean?”

She looked back at him defiantly, “Kiss me. Here, now. What’s the matter? Don’t you know how?”

He swallowed and answered, “Of course I know how!” Then he said with some hesitation, “Are you sure?”

“Twenty credits. Put up or shut up.”

At that his eyes narrowed. He thought he saw uncertainty beyond her surface bravado, but he couldn’t be sure. Still, he couldn’t back down now, even if she held it against him later. He’d still be ahead one kiss, and the chance might never come again. _Faint heart never won fair lady_ , he thought, and he gently took her face in his hands and kissed her softly, but with underlying passion. He wasn’t sure, but he thought she responded in kind.

“See,” he said softly, “I never lose.”

He heard Delenn calling him then, “Marcus? Is that you?”

Turning to leave, he smiled at his lady love, “I guess we’re even.”

As he walked away, she smiled and said under her breath, “I didn’t lose. In fact, I’d say, I’m one up this time.” With that, she went to join the others.

 

  
**Grey 17 is Missing #2**   


 

The sound of Neroon’s bloody pike hitting the floor reverberated in the suddenly quiet room. He made his speech, turned and left, while the audience looked on in stunned silence.

Sheridan spoke quickly to Ivanova and directed her to get someone to follow the warrior, but not to detain him yet. Station security was already discreetly watching the entrances to the room. The Rangers had wanted to provide the only internal guards for the ceremony, but Garibaldi had assigned his best people just outside.

Delenn had several Rangers surrounding her, congratulating her on her ‘promotion’ to Entil’zha, but she was distracted, and kept looking over her shoulder to see if she could spot Lennier. Her aide had disappeared just after Neroon had stalked out. She suspected he knew what was going on, and with whom Neroon had been fighting. She was afraid she knew as well.

As Sheridan approached, she indicated to Rathenn that she would like to speak with him alone. Rathenn gently shooed away the remaining Rangers, explaining that Entil’zha would be sure to speak to them at the reception. Then he bowed to the Captain and Delenn and followed the others.

“I gather that was not part of the ceremony,” Sheridan began wryly.

Delenn interrupted, “No, it was not. Did you see where Lennier went? Have you seen Marcus?” She spoke rapidly, with anxiety showing in her eyes.

“No…” Sheridan began, “I saw Lennier leave, but thought he was following that warrior. Do you want him detained for questioning? And what does Marcus have to do with this?”

Suddenly his comlink activated, and he heard Dr. Franklin’s voice, “Captain, may I speak with you?”

Smiling his apology for the interruption, Sheridan turned slightly away from Delenn and answered, “What is it?”

“Lennier just brought Marcus into MedLab One. Could you find Delenn and let her know?”

He heard her sharp intake of breath as she overheard the conversation. His suspicions aroused, he asked, “What’s up with Marcus, Stephen?”

“He’s been beaten pretty badly. He’ll be okay, but he’s going to be in a lot of pain. Lennier won’t tell me what happened, just refers me to Ambassador Delenn.”

“We’ll be right there. Keep Lennier there. I’ll want to talk to him.” Then he turned to Delenn and said, “All right. What’s going on? Did Lennier know that guy was on the station? Did he have some problem with Marcus? And why wasn’t I told any of this?”

Delenn began to speak, then stopped, and composed her words carefully, “Neroon does not have a problem with Marcus. He has a problem with me.” She hesitated, and then finished, “Or rather he did. I believe the issue is settled, now that the ceremony is complete.”

Sheridan was beginning to do a slow burn. “Do you mean to tell me that you knew that a Minbari warrior was on board to cause trouble? Did you send Marcus to deal with it?”

“No!” exclaimed Delenn, “I have to go to Marcus, John. Can’t we discuss this later?” She made a movement towards the door, but he stopped her by taking hold of her arm.

“I think we need to discuss it now, Delenn. What did that guy want? Why didn’t you tell me about him?”

“I was not…certain what he wanted. I had to deal with it myself—it was a Minbari matter. And I did not send Marcus to deal with Neroon! He could have been killed!” She snatched her arm away, and made another attempt to reach the door. He stood in front of it, blocking her exit.

“Did Lennier send Marcus then? Was it on your orders? What does this Neroon have against you? Is it the Rangers, your being chosen to lead them?” He was beginning to get angry at her prevarications, and he was determined to get to the bottom of this before he let her go to MedLab.

Her agitation seemed to collapse into shock as she slowly replied, “Lennier was right. Neroon did mean me harm.” She went on in disbelief, “I think he meant to kill me, John. I didn’t take him seriously when he told me to step aside. Minbari do not kill Minbari, not for the last one thousand years.” She was beginning to tremble, and he put his arms around her to calm her.

“You’re safe now. Neroon seemed to accept your position at the end.” He took a deep breath, as he realized how close he had been to losing the woman clinging to him. He pulled her even closer, reveling in the sensations roused by her body pressing up to his. Then he asked, unable to keep the hurt from his voice, “Why didn’t you tell me? Don’t you trust me?”

She looked up at him, and said softly, “I was afraid.”

“For me?” He smiled a little at the thought.

She nodded, returning the smile, but with a tinge of fear in it.

He leaned over and kissed her gently, “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m not going anywhere.”


End file.
